


You Can't Love My Pain Away

by Hurricane_Luna



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-05-18 17:08:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14856770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hurricane_Luna/pseuds/Hurricane_Luna
Summary: “Get out!” Raven yelled, but her voice broke slightly and she didn’t sound truly angry. She sounded sad.“I’m not leaving until you speak with me.”Raven snorted. “You can’t even look at me, then how the hell are you gonna have a conversation with me?”“You’re naked!”Abby knows Raven is hurting, but she refuses to talk about it and Abby can’t ignore it anymore.





	You Can't Love My Pain Away

Abby didn’t usually get frustrated with people. She had always been good at being patient and calm, but right now she was beyond frustrated with Raven! Abby knew the girl was hurting – and probably both physically and mentally – but Raven refused to talk about it.  
  
After Mouth Weather Raven had pushed her friends away, but she had been focused and clear headed and as she had gotten better then she had also let her friends back in.  
  
But for some reason things had slowly started changing again. At first Raven had just buried herself in her work. She had kept busy, but Abby had still seen her around the campsite with Bellamy, Monty and the others. Abby had still heard her laugh and Raven would smile at her every time they passed each other in the halls. Abby hadn’t liked it, but she hadn’t been worried, because she knew Raven. She knew how the girl would devour all her time to a new project if it caught her attention. And Raven had been obsessed with getting the car fixed, so she could drive it.  
  
But the car was now functional and Abby noticed that Raven still seemed distanced and quiet. And if there was one thing Raven usually wasn’t then it was quiet! The girl had an opinion about everything and she was never afraid to let others hear it. But she was quiet now and she kept to herself, and Abby got more and more worried for every day that went by. So she decided to talk to Raven about it, but it was like the girl knew, because she started avoiding Abby.  
  
When an entire week went by without Abby seeing Raven even once; then she went looking for her herself. It was late, but Abby still went by the mechanics lab first instead of Raven’s room. She figured that the chances were bigger of her being there or someone else knowing where she could be found. Abby entered and looked around the big open room. It looked empty, but she could hear a low buzzing and a mumbling coming from the back area where Abby knew they kept the rover. She walked towards it and as she came closer Abby was surprised to see Sinclair under the hood of the big car and not Raven.  
  
“Hey,” Abby said as she stepped up to the side of the car. She placed her hands in the front pockets of her blue lab coat as she waited for Sinclair to notice her.  
  
Sinclair moved around under the hood for a moment longer before he put the screwdriver away and dried his hands off on a dirty cloth. “Hi, doc,” he said as he turned and smiled at Abby. “What are you doing here so late?”  
  
“I was looking for Raven, so when I heard sounds coming from over here I thought it might be her,” Abby said and she felt kind of nervous. She didn’t want to overstep or bring Sinclair into this if she was just overreacting. Abby shook her head slightly as she looked around the room. “Do you know where she is?”  
  
“I sent her back to her room about an hour ago. The rover broke down earlier today, so she has been working on it pretty much all day. I told her to take a shower and get some sleep.”  
  
Abby nodded her head slowly, “I will stop by her room then,” she said as she turned to leave, but Abby didn’t get far before Sinclair called out for her.  
  
“You are worried about her too, aren’t you?”  
  
Abby stopped. “What makes you say that?” She asked; her back still turned towards him.  
  
“I can see the worry in your eyes.”  
  
Abby turned around. “She’s avoiding me, but I have seen her around. She doesn’t smile and she has started limping more again.”  
  
Sinclair sighed and closed the rover’s hood with a loud bump.  
  
Abby took a step closer. “You said ‘too’.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“You said; you are worried about her too,” Abby said and then asked, “what is making you worried?” She wasn’t really sure she wanted to know the answer. She still hoped it was all in her head. Maybe Raven was fine and she was just over reacting.  
  
Abby just looked at Sinclair for a long time, but he stayed quiet and started going through the toolbox next to him. She didn’t want to overstep or make him feel uncomfortable. He was Raven’s boss after all, but then again he had been the one who brought it up. And Abby didn’t want the answer, but she needed it. She needed to know she wasn’t the only one who was worried about Raven.  “Sinclair?  
  
He signed and looked at Abby with a sad look in his eyes. “She hasn’t said anything herself, but I think she’s in a lot of pain. It’s not slowing her down, instead it’s like she trying to proof to herself that it’s not so bad - that if she just powers through it then it will go away.”

Abby signed and nodded slowly. “I don’t know if she will listen, but I will try and talk to her about it.”

“Thank you,” Sinclair said, but his expression told Abby how truly grateful he really was. Raven wasn’t just his apprentice or friend, she was his family, and maybe that was why it was so hard for him to talk to her about it himself.

But how was Abby going to do it? Ask the questions she didn’t want the answers to? Thinking Raven might not be okay was hard, but knowing it would be painful. And why was that? Who was Raven to Abby?

They had become friends, but at some point it had felt like they were closer than friends. Raven had been the only person Abby really trusted, and it had seemed like Raven felt the same way. Then Mount Weather had happened and for a few weeks they had gotten even closer, if that was even possible. But then Raven had pushed everyone away - Abby included. Now she didn’t know what they were to each other anymore.

Abby left Sinclair at the rover and walked through the Ark to Raven’s room, but when she knocked on the door no one answered. At first Abby thought that Raven might be asleep or simply ignoring the knocking. Abby pressed her ear against the door, but couldn’t hear any sounds - not even the light snoring that Abby had gotten so used to doing their time together in the infirmary. But then she remembered what Sinclair had said about telling Raven to take a shower before getting some sleep. That could mean that she was still in the shower room. No one else was around, so Abby sat down on the floor with her back pressed against the door and waited for Raven to return.

But when 20 minutes passed without any signs of Raven then Abby decided to check the shower room. As she entered the elongated room she could hear water running, but it didn’t seem like someone was showering. Instead it sounded like someone had forgotten to turn off the water. “Raven?” Abby asked as she slowly walked further into the room and towards the shower stall. “Raven, are you in here?”

“Abby?” a small voice asked and Abby walked the rest of the way in five quick steps.

The curtain was pulled close in front of the stall, but one of Raven’s feet was sticking out from under it. Why was she sitting on the floor? “Raven?”

“I-I slipped,” Raven stuttered.

“Can I come in?” Abby asked and when Raven gave her approval then Abby pulled the curtain back and saw a shivering Raven on the floor. She was covered by her towel and she had moved as far away from the water as she could get, but she was still completely soaked. Abby quickly turned the water off and squatted down in front of Raven.

“What happened? Are you hurt?” Abby asked as she put her hand on Raven’s left leg. Her skin was cold to touch and Abby suddenly noticed that Raven was shaking with cold and that her lips looked slightly blue. Abby moved her hand from the girl’s leg to the water on the floor of the shower stall. It was completely cold. How long had she been sitting there?

“I’m not hurt,” Raven said with a shake of her head. “I just fell... and then I couldn’t get back up. There was nothing for me to hold on to.”

Abby felt like Raven was taking about something more than just the fall. But was now really the best time to bring it up when the girl was sitting naked and shivering on the floor? Abby put her hand on Raven’s wet cheek and slowly stroke her cheekbone with her thumb. “It’s okay to fall.”

Raven closed her eyes and Abby felt a warm drip of water under her thumb. She wiped the tear away and then rose up and held her arms out. “Let’s get you out of here before you freeze to death,” Abby said with a small smile.

“Maybe that won’t be such a bad thing,” Raven quietly mumbled before she opened her eyes and looked at Abby.

The smile faded from Abby’s lips. “Rav-“

“Don’t,” Raven said and leaned forward and took a hold on Abby’s hands with both of her own. As Abby pulled Raven to her feet then the towel fell from her body. Raven didn’t seem to care that she now stood naked in front of the doctor, but Abby felt her cheeks redden and she quickly turned around to look for Raven’s clothes.

“It’s wet.”

“What is?” Abby asked confused as she turned her head to look at Raven over her shoulder. She made sure to keep her eyes on Raven’s face, but her cheeks still grew hot again. This really wasn’t the best time for her to get all flustered – especially not when the girl was standing there wet and shivering from the cold. Yes, Abby liked Raven. In what way she didn’t really know, but she knew that she had to focus now.

“My clothes. It fell to the floor when I grabbed the towel,” Raven said and pointed in the direction of her clothes.

“Oh,” Abby said and she wondered how she had missed it. She bent down next to it and concluded that Raven was right. The clothes were completely soaked, but at least it didn’t seem like the water had damaged her brace. Abby rose and handed the brace to Raven. “Put this one.”

Raven looked a bit confused, but did as she was told. “Now what? I’m still naked and everything I have to cover up with is wet,” Raven asked as she leaned her bum against the wall and strapped the brace around her leg.

If Abby had been the type of person who rolled her eyes at people then she would have done it now. As if she wasn’t painfully aware of Raven’s nakedness. “Now you wear this,” Abby said and took of her blue lab coat. She handed it to Raven and then turned her back towards her again as she dressed in the coat. Abby bent down and folded Raven’s wet clothes, so it wouldn’t be too obvious to the girl that she was avoiding looking at her. But it didn’t work.

“I’m decent now, so you can stop refolding my clothes to pretend that you aren’t avoiding looking at me.”

Abby felt her cheeks redden and she didn’t have to look at Raven to know that she was smirking. Abby shook her head. This wasn’t what she had wanted. She sighed and stood up straight with Raven’s clothes in her hand. “I didn’t come here for this,” Abby said and she could feel herself getting annoyed.

“But you don’t mind it, right?” Raven asked with a flirtatious smile.

“Stop it, Raven,” Abby said, “I came to speak with you.”

“In the shower room?” Raven raised her eyebrows.

“I would have preferred to do it in your room, but you weren’t there.”

“We could be,” Raven said as she stepped closer to Abby.

Abby took a step back and held up her hand. “Don’t.”

The smile disappeared from the girl’s lips. “But I’m-“

“You’re hurting and I’m worried about you,” Abby said and reached out with the hand she had been holding out in front of her. She touched Raven’s upper arm, but the girl stepped back and Abby could practically see Raven put her walls back up. “Raven...”

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Raven said and stepped around Abby and walked out of the shower room. Abby followed after her and it didn’t take her long to catch up with Raven.

Neither of them said anything as they walked back to Raven’s room, but when they reached the door then Raven turned towards Abby and pulled her clothes out of Abby’s hands. “Go away, Abby!”

Raven pulled the door open and quickly stepped inside and slammed it close behind her. But Abby caught the door just in time and stepped into the room. “Please talk with me.”

Raven sighed angrily and pulled Abby’s lab coat off. “Leave me alone!” she said and threw it at the doctor.

But Abby didn’t leave. She caught the coat midair and then quickly turned around to give Raven some privacy to get dressed again.

“Get out!” Raven yelled, but her voice broke slightly and she didn’t sound truly angry. She sounded sad.

“I’m not leaving until you speak with me.”

Raven snorted. “You can’t even look at me, then how the hell are you gonna have a conversation with me?”

“You’re naked!”

“Yes, and don’t you think I already know how ugly and useless I am?”

It took a moment for Abby to truly realize what Raven had said, but when she did she quickly turned around. “What are you talking about?!” Abby asked and she knew her confusion was clear on her face, because Raven sighed and pulled a long shirt over her head. She sat down on the edge of her bed and pulled at the hem of the shirt until it covered the scars on her thighs.

Abby sat down next to her and put her hand on top of Raven’s. “Talk to me.”

Raven shook he head and a single tear fell from her eyes and landed on the back of Abby’s hand. “Please,” Abby begged as she reached out with her other hand and laid it against Raven’s cheek. Abby gently turned the girl’s face towards her, so she could see her eyes. Silent tears kept sliding down Raven’s cheeks and Abby couldn’t remember ever seeing Raven this lost before. The woman that she knew and cared for was nowhere to be found in the eyes of the girls in front of her.

“It hurts,” Raven said and closed her eyes tight.

Abby stroke her thumb across Raven’s cheekbone and wiped the tears away the slowly kept falling. “Your leg?” she asked and hoped that Raven would be honest with her.

Raven shook her head. “No,” she said and Abby let out a deep sigh. Raven opened her eyes and folded her hands into fists and pressed them against her chest. “Everything.”

The tears started coming faster and Rave began gasping for breath. “Everything hurts.”

And with that the girl broke into loud sobs and Abby gently wrapped her arms around her and held her tight as she cried. Raven let her fists fall and instead grabbed on to the sides of Abby’s shirt, like she was afraid the doctor would disappear if she didn’t cling to her. Abby just held her tighter and slowly swayed from side to side as she hummed the melody of the first children’ song she could think of.

As Abby was about to begin the song for the sixth time then she felt Raven start to pull back. The girl had stopped sobbing after the first few minutes, but she had stayed in Abby embrace, her breathing still heavy and her body shaking with trimmers every few second. Now Raven seemed ready to let go, but even as she pulled her head of Abby’s shoulder then Abby still kept her arms around Raven.

“I’m okay now,” Raven said and pulled out of Abby’s embrace. “You can leave.”

Abby looked her in the eyes and could both see and feel Raven put her walls back up, so she reached out and put her hands on Raven’s cheek. “You’re not okay.”

Raven looked down and Abby learned forward and kissed her on the forehead. Raven sighed and learned into the kiss as a silent sob shook her body again. “And I’m never going to leave you,” Abby said and tailed her lips from Raven’s forehead, to her cheek and to the corner of her mouth.

Raven turned her head slightly to the side and caught Abby’s lips with her own. Their mouths moved slowly, but sure against each other and Abby could feel the tip of Raven tongue at the edge of her lips. Abby let her deepen the kiss as she moved her hands from Raven’s cheeks and into her still wet hair that fell in waves down her back. Raven started moving her hands as well and they soon found the edge of Abby’s shirt. She let her fingers slowly slid along the hem of the shirt before moving her hands under it.

Goosebumps flooded her skin as Abby felt Raven’s hands move up to cover her breasts through her bra – and for half a second Abby wondered if this was a good idea; if it wouldn’t be better for Raven if she just pulled back and hugged her instead. But then Raven whimpered against Abby’s lips and the doctor knew that this was exactly what Raven wanted and needed right now, and Abby would be lying if she said she didn’t want it too.

So she let her hands fall from Raven hair and pulled away from her, but only for a second, so she could pull her shirt over her head. And as soon as the shirt hit the floor then Raven’s lips were back on Abby’s. Raven softly pushed Abby back against the bed and kissed her way down her body. When she reach top of Abby’s jeans she pulled back and turned slightly away from the doctor. Abby lifted herself up on her elbows and saw that Raven was looking uncertainly at her leg as she ran her fingertips over the buckles on her brace.

“We don’t have to go any further if you don’t want to,” Abby said and Raven bit her lower lip as she smiled at Abby. The doctor didn’t know if the girl was smiling because of her concern for her or because of how out of breath she knew she sounded. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t hurt me,” Raven said as she learned forward and started unclasping the buckles. She let the brace fall to the floor with a light bump and then moved with Abby fully onto the bed. But instead of lying down next to her, then Raven crawled across her and sat with a knee on either side of Abby’s hips.

Abby’s hands immediately moved up to Raven’s knees and she let her fingertips slowly run up the girl’s thighs with a feather light tough. But when she reached the scars from the healed drill holes then Raven grabbed her hands with both of her own and moved them higher. Abby would have commentated on it – told her that her scars matched Abby’s own and that they weren’t something to be ashamed of – but the second Abby’s fingers toughed the warm wet heat between Raven’s thighs then all thought left Abby’s mind. Raven guided her hands for a moment, but as soon as Abby’s fingers slid through her folds and up to her clit on their own then Raven let go with a deep happy sigh. Abby ran her fingers slowly back and forth, before drawing slow circles against Raven’s clit with her right thumb.

The pressure against her center made Raven grind her hips impatiently against Abby’s thighs. And before Abby even had time to move her other hand, then Raven used both of her own to lift her shirt over her head.

Abby’s thumb on Raven’s clit stopped moving and when it looked like Raven was about to complain about it then the girl just smirked instead. “Do you see something you like?”

Abby could only nod, because on top of her sat a stunning and completely naked Raven Reyes. But even though Raven was looking beautiful like a star and smiling just as brightly, then Abby couldn’t help but notice her slightly bloodshot eyes and tear stained cheeks. She moved her hands from Raven’s center to her rips and slowly pulled the smiling girl against her chest.

Raven held herself up slightly as she adjusted herself between Abby’s tights and looked down at the doctor. “What’s wrong?”

Abby just shook her head and leaned up and caught Raven’s mouth with her own. There wasn’t anything wrong - not anymore, not right now at least. And as the kiss grew deeper Abby felt Raven’s hands move between their bodies. She was trying to open and unzip Abby’s jeans, but her weight against Abby made it hard for her to move her hands.

Raven groaned loudly. “I could use a little help here!”

Abby let out a loud laugh and rolled them both to the side. Now Raven could push her jeans and underwear down her hips as Abby undid her bra. Her clothes were gone in mere seconds and for a moment they both just lay on their side and looked at each other. Abby felt kind of nervous as Raven slowly ran her fingertips over Abby’s naked body in much the same way that Abby had done with her earlier.

Raven smiled and buried her face in the crock of Abby’s neck as she mumbled, “You are so warm and soft and beautiful.”

Raven almost sounded embarrassed, but Abby couldn’t help but smile as she wrapped her arm around the girl and pulled her closer. Raven sighed when Abby moved her other hand down between her legs. And as Abby fingers began to circle around her clit then Raven started pressing heated kisses against Abby’s shoulder and neck. Abby moaned and lifted her chin slightly to give Raven better access. Raven sucked at her pulse point and then let her teeth sink into the skin under her lips.

“That’s gonna leave a bruise,” Abby said and slid two fingers inside of her.

Raven gasped. “I hope so,” she said and moved her leg up and over Abby’s hip. The move of her leg gave Abby better access and air to move her hand. She kept the pace slow, but deep and when she moved her thumb up to Raven’s clit then the girl threw her head back and pushed her hips hard against Abby’s hand. “More,” she whimpered.

Abby trusted harder and kissed her way up Raven’s throat to her ear and whispered, “Let me take away your pain.”

Raven shut her eyes tightly and bit her lower lip as her whole body became tens and Abby felt the girl’s walls beginning to squeeze fingers. She was so close. Abby pressed her thumb a little more firmly against Raven’s clit and kissed her jaw.

Raven dug her fingers into the skin on Abby’s hip and let out a breathy, “oh” as she came.

Abby kept moving her thumb in slow circles on Raven’s clit until she could feel Raven’s body start to relax again. Raven breathed heavily and Abby was just enjoying having her in her arms. But before she even had time to remove her fingers form the girl’s center herself, then Raven had pushed Abby to her back and was between her legs with her mouth.

Abby let out a loud moan as Raven ran her tongue through her folds and up to her clit. Abby’s back arched off the bed and her hands automagically found their way to the top of Raven’s head, her fingers curling themselves in the girl’s hair to push her closer. Raven had barely started touching her and she was already so close to the edge. Abby felt her thighs began to quiver and even though she tried to be quiet then she couldn’t help but let out loud moans every time Raven sucked her clit between her lips.

“Raven,” Abby said breathlessly. She wanted to kiss the girl so badly right now, so she pulled lightly at Raven’s hair to get her to crawl up to her. “Raven, please.”

Raven’s mouth between her legs was quickly replaced with her fingers as she kissed her way up Abby’s body. Abby whimpered and the moment Raven’s lips touched her own then it was like the missing piece was put back in place. She held her hands against Raven cheeks and sucked in a deep breath as she felt herself fall over the edge.

Raven kissed her nose and then slowly pulled her fingers from Abby’s center and wiped them of on the side of the mattress. “Remember to breathe.”

Abby wanted to laugh, but she was still too breathless, so instead she just nodded her head and smiled at the girl on top of her. Raven smiled back at her and a shiver ran through Abby’s body at the sight of her beautiful and honest smile. Raven looked truly happy and Abby couldn’t remember the last time she had seen that – or if she had even seen it before.

Raven frowned. “Are you cold?”

Abby smiled again and tucked a piece of hair behind Raven’s ear. “Maybe a little.”

Raven nodded and then quickly rolled to the side and grabbed the blanket that had fallen to the floor along with Abby’s clothes earlier. She spread it over them both before laying back down next to Abby with her head on her chest. Abby kissed her on the top of her head and Raven snuggled closer against her side. She wrapped her arm around Abby waist as Abby slowly ran her fingertips up and down her arm.

They were both quiet for a long time and Abby actually thought that Raven had fallen asleep, but then she turned her head slightly upward and looked at her. “Abby…” she said and a glimmer of insecurity showed in her pretty brown eyes.

Abby leaned forward a little and kissed Raven’s lips. “Yeah?”

“You can’t love away my pain.”

“I know,” Abby said with a small smile. “I just hope that maybe I can help make your pain a little bit more bearable.”

Raven drew invincible circles against Abby’s stomach with her fingertips as she lowered her head and mumbled, “You don’t have to have sex with me to do that.”

“So you don’t want to do this again?” Abby said with a smirk.

“That’s not what I said.” Raven said and her whole body vibrated with laughter as she hid her face in Abby’s hair.

Abby smiled and pulled Raven closer. She knew she couldn’t love Raven’s pain away – not the mental pain nor the physical one. Just like Raven could never love hers away.

But that was okay.

They weren’t perfect.

Life wasn’t perfect.

But this moment – right here, right now – was and that was the only thing that mattered.


End file.
